Day 2
FITNESS:
Not completely sure if I'm going to workout today... I normally take Tuesdays off because they're such busy days, but I ended up skipping my second class... Maybe I'll do an hour on the treadmill tonight?!
FOOD:
Breakfast: multigrain bagel w/1.5 tbsp cream cheese... this is NOT a typical breakfast for me. way too many calories, but i needed it this morning.
Snack #1: caramel fiber-one granola bar (my favorite!)
Lunch: tuna sandwich (ummm, good thing YOU weren't the one eating this - don't worry, i still remember your HUGE allergy!!)
Snack #2: lowfat microwave popcorn- the healthy kind, promise!
Dinner: tbd.
Dessert: tbd.
ON MY MIND:
Okay so I didn't get any sleep last night. My brain was running for all of the hours I layed in my bed starring at my ceiling. I was just thinking about how badly i NEED this. i need to lose this weight more than anything in the world. specifically, i NEED to get on the biggest loser. i've never wanted something so badly in my entire life. i'm waiting for the 2nd casting director to get back to me today... i have 2 people on my side from the casting offices, so i'll take that as a good sign.
As of this morning, I've lost 8 lbs from when I started a few weeks ago. I'm finding it hard not to get emotional right now. I have such a long way to go... This is hard for me to say, but I haven't weighed under 200 lbs since I was in 6th grade. I can't even imagine how it's going to feel when the day comes that I reach 199. I know that sounds crazy because that's still a VERY big number.. but it's what I'm aiming for. But that day won't come for a while :-\
I just have to stay positive and hope that everything with BL works out in my favor. I want it so bad that I can practically taste it. I'm going to leave with this -- everything happens for a reason.
aww love. it will happen- the things you want most don't come the easiest! it will take time. and every hour of pain on the treadmill and every stride you make on the elliptical will be worth it! the people on BL cry a whole lot too-- you aren't alone! what you're doing is so difficult, so don't sell yourself short for these emotions. they are valid! with or without the BL, you are going to be a success story (and maybe someday you'll let me tell it! award winning documentary? yes please!) XOXO
ReplyDeleteyour comment just put the biggest smile on my face :) ummm that award winning documentary sounds woooonderful! we'll take it to all the amazing film festivals (sundance, anyone?!) yes yes yes. i love you!!
ReplyDeletelove you yoo sweets! xo
ReplyDelete